In case you were wondering, I’m not dead yet. The outlook is good, I think I will survive student teaching. Although there are rough days, my students make me laugh. Here are some of the things I hear in my classroom:
- “I got hit by a Frito and a notebook, they’re making weird noises, and I don’t like anyone around me. Can I move?”
- “If no one could read we wouldn’t be able to text message . . . or read fast food menus!” (accompanied by a genuine look of dismay)
- “Mrs. Merket, will you be the manager for our band? We’ll give you 40% commission.” Another student asks, “Of what?” He replies, “Spiritual blessings.”
- From a parent at parent teacher conferences, “Can you tell me about the English fundraiser?” I look at him puzzled and respond that I’m not sure what he’s talking about. “My son called his grandma last Friday and told her he needed 10 pizzas in the parking lot for an English fundraiser. Oh, he is a master manipulator.”
- When I ask a student why he isn’t working on his essay he tells me he can’t use his “cheat” at school. He types www.freeessays123.com into his browser and exclaims, “See, can you believe they block it!”
- “Mrs. Merket, I hurt my metatarsal, I don’t think I can work out today.”
- “Mrs. Merket, are we going to sweat when we work out today? ‘Cause if we are, can I just sit out?”
Boy that sounds like a pain in the metatarsal. I am sure those are just the cleaned up versions. I could tell when I saw the word “darndest”. As a teacher I found, it is the things they don’t say that creates the problems. Good luck with them critters.
Ha ha. One of my favorites:
Me: “Jake, your shoes are on backwards.”
Jake: “Oh! (Little giggle) My mom tells me that all the time!”