Today I officially resigned my post as a substitute teacher. While I definitely wouldn’t say it was my favorite job, it has had some valuable personal benefits (earning points towards keeping my license current, developing really great “teacher looks,” etc). Overall, my favorite parts were the insightful things students taught me. Here are some of my favorites:
- Lady Ga Ga is a “musical genius.”
- Having more kids is often “the worst mistake of a mother’s life.”
- 7th graders are still not cognitively developed enough to know that swallowing open safety pins is a bad idea.
- The bells are always one minute slow on Fridays.
- Apparently the preferred term to nerd is “extraterrestrial intelligence.”
- Even when you’re 8+ months pregnant and look like you have a watermelon sticking out of your abdomen, middle schoolers still have to get their friends to ask if you’re pregnant.
- A moral would be kind of like “feeling bad after you get a lecture from a policeman for parking your diesel truck across two handicapped parking spaces outside of Walmart.”
As a last tribute to my former employment, here is a clip from School of Rock. My favorite part is towards the end when he’s watching the clock. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve felt like that.