And Then Comes Peace

And Then Comes Peace

“Death is the enemy. But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And in a war that you cannot win, you don’t want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don’t want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee, someone who knows how to fight for territory that can be won and how to surrender it when it can’t, someone who understands that the damage is greatest if all you do is battle to the bitter…

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10th Anniversary

10th Anniversary

We’ve been thinking about our 10th anniversary since our 9th. We wanted to do something big and had narrowed it down to either a trip to Costa Rica or river guide school. When Glenna got diagnosed and came to live with us, planning became infinitely more difficult. (Maybe we should have known Costa Rica was bad luck, that was also the plan for our 5th anniversary and that didn’t turn out either.) Even if we’d logistically worked something out with family…

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On Miracles

On Miracles

“And whether you believe in miracles or not, I can guarantee that you will experience one. It may not be the miracle you’ve prayed for. God probably won’t undo what’s been done. The miracle is this: that you will rise in the morning and be able to see again the startling beauty of the day.” ― William Kent Krueger, Ordinary Grace The lung center clinic Glenna went to is world-renown. Her oncologist is involved in cutting edge research on lung cancer. He…

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Miss E at Five

Miss E at Five

Miss Ellen turned five this last week. I was really worried that in the midst of all our preparation and travels for the funeral she would feel overlooked, but instead she basically got to celebrate her birthday for an entire week. She had a party in Cedar City, UT with my family a few days before her birthday. We all rented a condo together through VRBO and had a party after Glenna’s funeral. She also got several gifts from Noel’s…

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A Rough Landing

A Rough Landing

Noel describes the day he and his mom flew to Colorado as one of the worst days of his life. For most of it, I was generally unaware of how traumatizing it was. The evening their flight departed* they sent optimistic texts to the family – pictures of them next to a moose statue at the Anchorage airport and reassurances that they were feeling calm.  That night I wrote in my journal in anticipation of their arrival, “Buckle your seatbelt…

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10 years

10 years

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.” – Martin Luther The good, the bad, and the bleh – it’s been 10 years full of adventures. I’m glad we’ve had each other through it all. There’s something about a decade that feels solid, which is exactly what our marriage is.

The Backstory

The Backstory

Before I jump into any reflective posts I think I need to set up the backstory. In true Audrey fashion, I’ve been concise, maybe too concise about everything that has transpired. It was the Saturday of our church’s fall General Conference when we found out Glenna (Noel’s mom) had lung cancer. She called Noel in between sessions of talks intended to uplift us and told him she’d gone to the ER earlier in the week because of severe neck pain….

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The Other Side

The Other Side

I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I say, this school year has been unlike any we’ve had before. There has been no normal. There has been no groove. It’s also not an exaggeration to say the last four months have been some of the hardest of my life. They’ve drained me emotionally, physically, creatively, and even spiritually. On bad days I was depressed; on good days I just felt spent. Today, I woke up and for the first time…

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Faith of a Child

Faith of a Child

Caring for my mother-in-law the last four months has been hard, but I’ve been so grateful to have my little family during all of it. We’ve leaned on each other and grown together. When I told the kids that their Grandma Glenna had passed away, I told them it was okay to feel sad. Ellen told me “I’m not sad; I’m happy.” When I asked why, she said, “Because she’s with Jesus and she’s going to be alive again.” I’m so grateful…

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