I have a feeling last Friday morning is going to go into my Worst Parenting Moments Hall of Fame. It all started when I went to drop the kids off at the rec center daycare so I could swim some laps. Ellen was in a mood and didn’t want to wear the shirts they make all the kids wear. I finally convinced her to just hold the shirt which seemed like a fine compromise to me, but wasn’t found acceptable by the daycare. After basically wrestling her into the t-shirt I tried to leave, but she ran after me screaming and tackled me around the legs. For 30 minutes I reasoned, begged, bribed, and threatened while other parents and children came and went without incident, but every time I tried to break away I got chased down again. (I would like to note that no one made any attempts to try and keep her there.) Finally, one of the workers told me, “I just don’t think it’s going to work today.”
Before I continue, allow me to pause and say that I have never considered myself to be a terribly patient person, which has led me to be completely surprised and fairly impressed with the level of patience I’ve displayed, on average, during my parenting career. My kid gets sick and I have to cancel my plans with a friend? I get over it after some initial annoyance. My kid throws a tantrum at the grocery store? Hardly phases me. My kid wipes blueberries all over the white bathroom towels? I sigh and wash them with some oxiclean. But my kids get between me and my workout,the thing that makes most of my patience possible? I completely unravel.
After the worker read the writing on the wall that I desperately was refusing to see, I called to Cooper that we were leaving. He protested because he didn’t get to play, while I wrestled the shirts over their heads and threw them violently into the dirty shirt hamper. One of the workers meekly offered that I “just need to keep trying another time.” And with razor sharp sarcasm, I scoffed, “Right” and glared at her. Then I yanked my kids out of the room forcefully by their wrists. After slamming all the car doors, we drove home, enshrouded in a cloud of screaming (mostly me) and by the time we pulled into the garage everyone was sobbing. It took 10 minutes of sweating in the sweltering garage and a concerned phone call from Noel before I felt ready to get everyone into the house and try to face the wreckage. The rest of the day was busy, which was good, but my mind kept wandering back to how I felt like an abysmal failure not only as a mother, but a human being.
We had a mini backpacking trip planned for that night. Noel came home from work excited and optimistic, while I was morose and prepared for the worst. When we hit the trail I still was feeling down and pondering wether I needed to seek professional help. As we hiked those thoughts slowly began to recede. The kid that wouldn’t willingly stay at a place with countless toys, friends, and a playground, hiked without hardly a complaint and gave no indication that she even remembered me unleashing my rage earlier that day. She took my hand and chatted away about butterflies and how fast she could run. Once at camp, the solitude soothed my insecurities and as the kids laughed and chased each other through a field of wildflowers I started to think maybe I wasn’t a completely terrible parent. The kids didn’t fight as they explored and even dinner and bedtime went peacefully and with little complaint. By the time the kids were tucked into their sleeping bags and Noel and I were stargazing from the hammock, my outlook on life was much improved. I wasn’t a terrible parent or human being. Yes, I’d had a bad day and I’d handled it poorly, but it wasn’t the end of the world. I didn’t need therapy, I just needed a healthy dose of nature* to refocus me and remind me that life is bigger than one workout and bigger than the daycare. There are pockets of beauty, all around us reminding us that life is actually quite good. This satirical commercial, pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject.
As Nature Rx disclaims, “nature can’t solve everything, it may just help.”
When Noel turned 30, we ran the Dirty 30 race at Golden Gate Canyon State Park. (Just to be clear, we did the 12 mile, not the 50K.) Logically, when I turned 30 we had to do it again. Because my brother-in-law, Joe, also recently turned 30, he and my sister, Hope, also joined us. And because we had three kids that needed watching, my dear mother came out as well to spend some quality time with the grandkids and make the race possible for the four of us.
We really wanted to be more prepared for the race this time around. Amazing friends watched our kids so we could go on a handful of Saturday morning “dates” and log some longer trail runs. Honestly, running dates are one of my favorite kind of dates. Still, life got in the way as it sometimes does, but we tried to be the wise, seasoned thirty-somethings that we are and keep our focus on training smarter, not harder.
On race day, we hugged the kids and left them with grandma. One of the things that helped take the pressure off was that we had no delusions of winning anything. (Especially not the bloodiest finisher award. We really didn’t want to win that, again.) We started off slow and steady with a tortoise and hare attitude. Even though it was hotter, we definitely ran more this time and up until the last two miles I felt stronger overall. At mile 11 I was out of gas, but Noel pulled me through and we kept up a nice clip to the finish line where we beat our last time by five minutes. (Certainly Noel not falling down the mountain helped shave some time off, but I’d like to think we were also just faster.) Hope and Joe had great finishes – literally, their final sprints were impressive – and we were all ready for a great post race party. At least we thought we were. Half of us didn’t really feel like eating and Noel was busy throwing up in various types of foliage. So, we packed up all our swag (the race really delivered on the swag) and caught a bus back to our car.
We enjoyed another day with the Walkers and my mom before they made the long trip back to UT. It was a quick and crazy weekend, but we all proved that we’re as tough as we’ve ever been. Including my mom, who totally dominated on the grandma front.
At the beginning of the year, we made plans to visit Noel’s sister, Danielle, at the sweetest place on earth – Hershey, PA. We were excited to take the kids to visit their cool aunt who worked at a chocolate factory. Then, a few months ago she broke the news to us that she was looking for a new job and it was very likely that she wouldn’t be working in Global Chocolate Innovation (yes, that’s really what she did) by the time our trip rolled around. Because there were so many unknowns, we stopped all our planning, but kept the tickets (they were Southwest so we could have cancelled as late as 15 min before the flight and still banked the points) and just waited. A few weeks before our departure, things miraculously fell into place. Danielle would be in-between jobs when we visited and since her new job was in New Jersey we could check out both her new and old stomping grounds. (Go small states!) Still, the timing was a little crazy for everyone. Within two weeks, Danielle would quit her job, host us, move to a different state, and start a new job. We would finish some yard projects, end the school year, fly to PA, visit three states for both sight-seeing and moving purposes, fly home from NJ, welcome visitors of our own, and run a 12 mile trail race. It was an exhausting, fun-filled couple of weeks. This post is not going to be a literary masterpiece, but in case you want to know more about the trip, feel free to read the day by day synopsis and check out the huge gallery at the end.
Day One (Wednesday)
In the morning, Cooper graduated from kindergarten. That afternoon, we loaded up the car and began our journey. Because we have an unofficial goal to try every method of getting to the airport we rode the newly finished train to the plane. Morale was high and everything went well from our train ride to going through airport security. We arrived in Philly at midnight (10pm our time) and caught a shuttle to our hotel. Everyone was exhausted and pretty much fell asleep immediately.
Day Two (Thursday)
We stayed at a a Courtyard Airport hotel and we knew beforehand that there weren’t any great breakfast restaurants nearby, so we came prepared with shelf-stable milks, Crispix, and some freeze dried backpacking meals. It was suspicious enough that TSA felt the need to search our suitcase. After a luxurious breakfast, we lounged at the pool and waited for Danielle. She picked us up and we went into Philly to check out the Touch Museum, Liberty Bell , and the Rocky Statue.
Day Three (Friday)
Danielle was busy with her movers, so we rented a car and drove out to Ocean City, NJ. We spent the afternoon walking the boardwalk, wading in the ocean, and burying our feet in sand. Then we drove home and laughed at the LONG line of stop and go traffic heading the opposite direction. (It was the Friday of Memorial Day weekend.) We took our rental car back to the airport and then played an unintentional game called “Let’s See How Many Different Kinds of Transportation We Can Take to Get to Danielle’s New Place.” I’ll spare you the long, boring stories of why, but in the end, it took one shuttle bus, one Lyft ride, one Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority Train, one New Jersey Transit train, a ride on the airport train, and finally a ride in Danielle’s Subaru, complete with dog. It was after 11 o’clock by the time we were reunited and we drove around looking for something that was open (gas station, grocery store, anything!) to find food. In retrospect, we really should have looked into a one way car rental and just driven. Danielle had spent all day stuck in traffic moving and her apartment was tetrised with boxes. We were all sandy and sweaty and in desperate need of showers. We couldn’t find any towels, so we made due with a bunch of her t-shirts. We blew up some air mattresses and wedged them in-between the stacks of boxes and fell asleep.
Day Four (Saturday)
We all slept in and rolled out of bed in time to catch a late breakfast at Morristown Pancake House. As we were parking the car we ran into a parking enforcement guy and we asked if there were any free places to park. He laughed and said, “No, this is New Jersey.” When Danielle told him she’d just moved from Hershey, PA he said, “Why?” We felt very warmly welcomed. Breakfast however, was good. Next, we hit up the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. This involved lots of waiting in line and some slight panic about whether a ferry would actually pick us up and return us back to New Jersey. It was interesting to learn about the history of Ellis Island and I realized that I should learn more about our country’s immigration laws past and present. It was also really cool to see the Statue of Liberty up close. We’d read a Kid’s National Geographic that featured some National Parks and Monuments and one of them was the Statue of Liberty, so the kids were really excited to see something that they’d read about in a magazine. We grabbed dinner and headed back to Danielle’s apartment hoping we could help her get some stuff unpacked. As we pulled into her cul-de-sac, we noticed there was a truck from the power company and a lot of people outside, but it wasn’t until we went to flip on the lights in her apartment that we realized the power was out. We went to the grocery store to get some essentials hoping that by the time we came back the problem would be fixed, but it wasn’t. We went out again to buy some candles. The kids thought it was awesome, but all us adults were a little hot (no A/C) and grumpy about the situation. The power didn’t come back on until 3 or 4 in the morning.
Day Five (Sunday)
Noel went out to get some more milk since the milk we had was spoiled. We did our best to hustle and get everyone fed and dressed then drove two hours to Danielle’s old apartment in Hershey, PA. We went to church at her old ward where Ellen threw a huge fit when we left her in primary, but finally calmed down and Danielle taught a really good final lesson to the high school aged girls. After church we drove to Gettysburg. We checked out the cemetery and then had a picnic in the rain. Our luck was getting sort of comical at this point so we just laughed and sat in the rain for a decent amount of time before it became too much and we got back in the car.
Day Six (Monday, Memorial Day)
A good friend of mine moved to Pittsburgh last fall and she and her family drove to Hershey to spend the day with us. We met up for lunch. We were going to get sandwiches from a delicious local Hoagie shop, but it was closed, so we went to Subway instead. Then we were going to go to this cute park with a castle the kids could play on, but they were doing a Memorial Day Ceremony nearby and wouldn’t let us into the park or give us any indication of how long the ceremony would be. (Have you ever heard of a park being closed?) Instead, we went to a different park and caught up while the kids played. Cooper and Ellen were so excited to play with Russell again. Everyone was having a great time, but Cooper brought the fun to an end when he threw up on the swings. We took a break to clean him up then met up with Jessica and her family to go to Chocolate World. We saw a 4-D movie, went on the factory tour, and made our own chocolate bar. The kids were in heaven and Danielle of course filled us in on all sorts of insider information. We finished off the day with dinner at Houlihan’s and then said goodbye to our friends.
Day Seven (Tuesday)
We got brunch and headed to Amish country. We checked out some fun shops and then went on a buggy tour of Lancaster County. The kids got a kick out of the buggy tour. Our buggy driver was Amish and it was interesting to see his family’s land. They had solar panels which of course interested Noel. When he asked if the Amish didn’t use electricity from the grid because of self-sufficiency our guide told us it was just a tradition that they upheld because of politics, which, one person of faith to another, was sort of disappointing. Maybe that was just his opinion though. After that excursion it was time to finish up loose ends at Danielle’s old apartment. We packed the odds and ends into a trailer and cleaned everything before heading back to New Jersey for another late night dinner at a gas station.
Day Eight (Wednesday)
We were up pretty late unloading the trailer the night before so we all slept in again. We didn’t have much time left, but we decided we wanted to see a little bit of New York before heading home. We rode the train to Penn Station and checked out Times Square and Central Park. The kids loved the park at Central Park. Then we took a frightening taxi cab back to Penn Station where we got some New York Style Pizza and some treats from Magnolia Bakery. Then it was back on the train to head back to the airport. We said our goodbyes to Danielle and then went through security. We were pretty exhausted and excited to be going home, but as we dug into our cupcakes and mini cheesecakes from New York we also felt a little sad we hadn’t had more time.
In case you are still reading, bless your soul, here is a large gallery of photos.
Five years ago we bought our house. We haven’t done a lot cosmetically to the house itself (functionally is a whole different story), but the yard has certainly changed drastically. For the last five years, we’ve been amusing and annoying the neighbors with our landscaping attempts. We’ve slowly been making progress and this year we had another big push as the five year anniversary of our home purchase loomed.
As much as I hate to admit it, the tree our neighbor insinuated we’d killed did die. Not from neglect though, but from a disease. (It was growing mushroom like growths from the trunk and the limbs were rotting and falling off.) Last fall we came to terms with the fact that it was beyond saving and cut it down.
This spring we dug the stump out and planted an apple tree in its place. (We replaced a bunch of the dirt in case the disease lingered in the soil.) It will be several years before it produces fruit. Maybe you’ll hear about it in my 10-year update.
It was a snowy spring and we lost several branches from other trees in the yard. We’d also hoarded a bunch of other branches from pruning and tree removal.
It was enough that we rented a wood chipper and with the help of some neighbors turned the unsightly pile into useful mulch. It may not be the most beautiful mulch, but I love that we took something ugly that most people would send to the landfill and turned it into something useful.
We also finally built our boxes for growing vegetables in the front yard. The dirt arrived two days before we left on a big trip, so we provided more amusement for the neighborhood as we planted our vegetable seedlings with headlamps until well after dark.
We’d made a huge pile of rocks as we excavated different parts of the yard (some of which seemed like they might have been part of some landscaping plan from a different era), and finally found a purpose for them in a little path. We have more things we want to do to the yard (both long and short-term), but it feels like things are finally starting to look intentional.
I half jokingly told one of my brothers that yard work is the number one way we do missionary work. Joking aside, it probably is one of the number one ways we’ve gotten to know our neighbors. People will stop and chat or occasionally we’ll even rope people into our crazy projects. (Like when we chippered the mulch we got help from a neighbor and then helped that neighbor and another one mulch some of their own branches.) Being those crazy, but friendly DIYers has definitely helped develop a better sense of community. And that includes the judgmental elderly lady across the street. She recently told us the yard is “starting to look good” which we took as a huge compliment.
When we first bought the house I feel like the yard was pretty boring; lately, it’s definitely become an outgrowth of our crazy, but hopefully beautiful personalities. Happy five years house!
Nothing could make a parent more proud than to see their child work hard and finally graduate . . . from kindergarten. I personally think kindergarten graduation is a little silly, but as a parent, I have to admit it was both adorable and hilarious to see the kids in their cardboard graduation “caps” and see the slideshow of what they want to be when they grow up. (Cooper is going to be a firefighter.) Cooper really has worked hard this last year. He’s made huge progress socially and is doing well academically. He had an awesome team that really looked out for him and helped him shine. Thanks kindergarten for being awesome!
Back when I was roughly Ellen’s age, I decided it was time to leave my mark on the world in a very literal way. My mother had previously been an Avon representative and had a good supply of nail polish. When she was occupied (I think gardening) a friend and I got into her stash and proceeded to paint everything – our bodies, my toys and books, the kitchen table – EVERYTHING. I don’t have any photographic evidence of my mischief (this was back in the days of film cameras and I think documentation of their child’s unruliness was not the first thing that came to my parents’ minds), but if you visit my parents’ house they can point out spots on various pieces of furniture where my “art” still stands strong 26 years later.
Today when Cooper ran into the kitchen to inform me that “Ellen has purple all over her hands!” and I found her hands and a small portion of my bedroom floor lacquered with purple nail polish I almost had to laugh. She doesn’t seem to be quite as devious as I was as a child, but maybe that’s just because I didn’t have a big brother keeping an eye on me.
This year, Cooper was sick the week of his birthday. He had a rough couple of nights with a croupy cough and I kept him home for two days. The day before his birthday, Ellen was inconsolable from the moment she woke up. She had a fever and just wanted to be held. I gave her medicine and it finally seemed to kick in after about an hour when she became deliriously happy. After 45 minutes she crashed again and fell asleep in my arms.
Generally, she’s the type of kid that doesn’t get slowed down by a cold,* so her behavior was concerning to me. I called our HMO and they were able to get us in that afternoon. Of course, the appointment fell during the period of time when her second round of pain medication was working and all the nurses seemed somewhat skeptical and I may have felt somewhat vindicated when her rapid strep test came back positive. They ran a test on Cooper too, but it came back negative. Since strep doesn’t cause coughs, we figured he just had a cold and nothing more. They said they’d send it to be cultured just in case and let me know if the longer test came back positive. We went home and continued birthday preparations alongside house sanitizing.
The morning of his birthday, he seemed pretty healthy when he woke up. It was the first night he hadn’t woke up with a coughing fit and he was really excited to go to school. We let him open a new outfit and a game from grandma before going to school.
He’d chosen to take berry and marshmallow kabobs for his birthday treat and there was no way he was going to miss sharing them with his friends.
He really wanted to ride his scooter to school and I decided to let him even though I knew we’d be late. The secretary is pretty used to giving us tardy slips anyway . . . When we walked into the classroom several of the kids yelled, “Happy Birthday Cooper!” and he just beamed from ear to ear.
We’d bought Cooper new shoes for his birthday, but they didn’t fit. He was pretty upset that I wouldn’t let him wear them to school, so I told him we’d try to find some that fit when he was done. As we were walking into the store, I got a notification that the long strep test had come back positive and I just had this image in my mind of him handing out fruit kabobs to every kid in his class . . . We quickly tried on shoes and I even let him by the blue ones he wanted even though I wanted to buy the black ones (because they were cheaper).
Back at home, we played one of Cooper’s new games while we waited for the doctor to call, then swung by the doctor’s office/pharmacy to get Cooper his antibiotics. **
When Noel came home from work we let him open the rest of his presents from us and from the family. Pretty much every gift was met with excitement.
We had empanadas for dinner followed by tres leches cake. (Happy Cinco de Mayo!) Every time someone asked Cooper what kind of cake he was going to have for his birthday he would say, “The one with cherries!” because of the picture of this recipe. We made sure to buy maraschino cherries for the occasion.
We’d given Cooper the option of going camping or having a party with friends for his birthday. I really thought he would choose camping, but he was very excited about having a party with friends. Even though we didn’t invite everyone in his class,*** I was still kind of overwhelmed by the guest list. Cooper has gone to a couple of birthday parties and they’ve all been pretty fancy. (Think: rented petting zoos, build-a-bear, and playing sports at an indoor sports complex.) I didn’t even entertain any thoughts of competing with that for something like a child’s birthday party. Our plan was to draw with sidewalk chalk, blow bubbles, play some games with balloons, beat a piñata, and have cake.
The weather of course, had other plans. An hour before the party there was a torrential downpour complete with hail and thunder. Luckily, I had a backup plan. We kept the bubbles on the porch and drew on black construction paper with sidewalk chalk at the kitchen table.
I cleared as much as I could out of the main room in the basement for balloon games. It was a little bit crazy to have 10 kids running around the house, but the kids had a lot of fun. I like to call it controlled chaos . . .
We’d hoped to do the piñata on the porch, but by the time we got to piñata time thunder was booming again and we decided it was best to stay indoors. I made a homemade paper mache piñata that looked like Mike Wazowski from Monster’s Inc. It held up really well to the hits of 12 kids. (Ellen and a friend joined in.)
I made little fabric bags out of scrap fabric (really easy) and put homemade play dough, homemade robot crayons (kids helped me make these), and skittles in each bag. Then we put all the bags in the piñata. I thought this would cut down on the fighting that would occur when the piñata broke, but not all of the little boys were able to process that idea. We figured it all out in the end though.
Cooper chose a Dulce de Leche cake for his birthday. I don’t think the other kids were used to such fancy cake and a lot of it got thrown away, BUT I have no regrets about making it because I got to eat some of it and I have very high standards when it comes to eating baked goods.
This was us after the kids left. I should mention that we also ran 11 miles that morning, so we were pretty much exhausted. I think Cooper really loved it though and that’s what matters most.
*One time, I took Cooper to the doctor because I thought he might have an ear infection. While we were there, the doctor looked at Ellen’s ears too and discovered she not only had an ear infection, but two. While we waited at the pharmacy she ran around like a crazy person and almost toppled a display for online prescription renewal. My dad happened to be with me and I remember him saying, “If this is what she’s like with a double ear infection, are you sure you want to get her the antibiotics?”
** It’s always a tiny bit stressful to me when both the kids are on antibiotics because Ellen is allergic to the ones Cooper takes so I have to be extra careful not to mix them up.
*** One day after school Cooper was listing off names of people that said they were going to come to his party. I panicked a bit because we hadn’t invited everyone and I didn’t want him talking about the party at school. I told him, “Buddy, you can’t talk about your party at school. We didn’t invite everybody and we don’t want the kids to feel bad.” He started to cry and told me very firmly, “Mom, they’re not bad kids, they’re good kids!” Sometimes the literalism of autism can be fun. I told him, “You’re right, they’re good kids. I meant, we didn’t want them to feel sad.”
A. Lots of broken branches
B. Everything being cancelled or postponed
C. The cold season being extended
D. Decrease in morale
E. All of the Above
In case you were wondering, the answer is E.
Spring is always sort of an adventure in Colorado and this year was especially exciting. We’d hoped we’d gotten the worst of the snow out of our system in March, but it kept coming with a vengeance in April causing everything from the Scout fundraiser dinner to a few of our long training runs to be cancelled. In between snowstorms though, we’d pull out our shorts and sandals as we’d get glimpses of beautiful weather. Some of the month’s highlights include:
The arrival of our apple tree we ordered a year ago. Cooper was extremely disappointed when I pulled it out of the box and exclaimed, “That’s not an apple tree, that’s a stick!”
Earth Day/Week – Noel got to drive a Tesla and Earth Day pulled through with nice weather.
Ellen going to work with Noel – She was so excited and made quick friends with one of the other kids.
The cat killed 4 baby bunnies and 2 squirrels in one week! He’s now on house arrest an indoor cat because the bunnies here carry a disease that can kill animals and make people really sick. Plus, his murderous frequency was a little concerning . . .
This year, Easter kind of snuck up on me. I’d spent all of March studying the Atonement and trying to figure out how to teach my Sunday school lesson on Easter Sunday, but hadn’t given hardly any thought (other than to purchase a ham) to celebrating Easter with our family. Literally, the day before Easter Noel and I talked about what we wanted to do. We decided we wanted to try splitting up the secular celebration of Easter (gifts and egg hunt) from the spiritual celebrations, which meant we would be doing our egg hunt that day. We swung by Target to pick up Easter shoes and buckets (deftly dodging the Zombie parents pushing around carts full of candy) and then mixed up some homemade egg dye at home.
While the kids watched a movie, Noel and I stuffed a few plastic eggs with candy family members had sent and some homemade peanut butter eggs.
Since the ground was still covered in snow, we hid the eggs inside, which allowed for a certain level of creativity.
The kids had a lot of fun finding the eggs and opening the gifts in their buckets (warm weather pajamas, Annie’s bunny crackers, and some things from their grandparents).
Then on Sunday we tried to focus on the spiritual aspects of Easter. Noel sang a beautiful rendition of “This is the Christ” in a double quartet and my Sunday School lesson was at the very least, meaningful to me. I of course didn’t take any pictures of anybody in their Easter clothes since we rushed out the door to get to church and people were already starting to undress by the time we made it back home. Plus, picture taking has never been my strong suit.
After a fancy dinner of ham, potatoes, croissants, and asparagus, we had a little lesson about Easter (aided by this lesson from Behold Your Little Ones and our church’s Bible Videos). The kids really impressed us with how much they were able to tell us about Christ’s death and resurrection.
We finished off the day with a little almond cream cake. At this point, Ellen realized we were winding down and started to whine about how we hadn’t done Easter yet. I asked her what Easter was about and she said, “Jesus.” We repeated the conversation a couple of times before she exasperatedly said, “Mom, but we haven’t found eggs!” When I reminded her we’d done our egg hunt the day before she was a little disappointed, but didn’t put up too much more of a fight. I really liked putting the egg hunt on a completely different day and will probably do it again in the future; the kids will get used to it eventually.
This is my third Light it Up Blue post (1.o and 2.0) and definitely the one I’ve worried over the least. This is the first year that I don’t choke up every time I talk about Autism, and the first year that it has felt truly “normal.” Yes, there’s been a few bumps in the road with Cooper now and again, but we’ve grown comfortable with ASD being a part of our lives – it’s our normal. I admit, I sometimes do get a twinge of sadness when I take him to the grocery store and he acts like a possessed beat boxer or when I realize other kids Cooper’s age are zooming around on bikes sans training wheels while he laboriously pedals at a snail’s pace even with the training wheel safety net, but I know he’ll get there, just in his own time and in his own way.
Cooper has grown so much. Remember last year how I was so depressed by Cooper’s performance in the Primary program? Well, this year he said audible words into the microphone and I cried for a completely different reason. He’s also blossoming at school. Just in the last month he’s started playing tag with the other kids when school is over – something he’d never wanted to do despite my encouragement. One afternoon he came up to me and asked me to tie his shoe and one of his classmates said, “Cooper can talk!?!” I said, “Of course he can talk” and then Cooper piped in, “I sure can!” which made me want to give him a million high fives. He’s growing and learning, and honestly, so are we. I’ve become less guarded about his Autism and at appropriate moments have told many people about it this last year. It has been unbelievably freeing. I don’t know if it’s my attitude about it or that we rub shoulders with a lot of great people, but 98% of the time people have been genuinely accepting and eager to learn more.
In some ways, our journey with Autism has been easy. We have awesome insurance, an outstanding support network, a cooperative therapy team, and a kid with a lovable temperament, but that isn’t everyone’s journey. One of the things that I found most surprising about the ASD world when I first wandered into it, was how divisive it can be, but I suppose that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise considering the amount of ground the spectrum covers. The diagnosis ranges from families that would do anything for a “cure” from the debilitation it brings to their children to individuals that shun “treatment” and call for universal acceptance of their quirky perspectives. I obviously fall somewhere in between. I want Cooper to succeed in the world, and I think that will only happen with both acceptance and treatment. I truly hope that balance can become the norm for the whole range of the spectrum.