I remember having a conversation with my mother when I was pregnant with Cooper and telling her that I couldn’t listen to the news because it freaked me out and made me wonder what I was doing bringing a child into such a terrible world. My mom told me she’d felt the same way when she’d had me and pointed out that I’d turned out okay. I left the conversation feeling less worried and the thought came to me, “Well, Audrey what would happen to the world if the ‘good people’ stopped having children?”
It’s easy to be dragged down by the difficult things we see or experience in the world. Because the terrible things are often so obvious and are the things that make the headlines and the gossip rounds, it really can seem like the bad is overpowering the good. But it’s important to remember that good is a force too. A powerful force, but one that is often easy to overlook because it isn’t sensational and is so often displayed in quiet and subtle ways. Perhaps, we’re doled out such small doses because it is so powerful.
Right before Christmas, I started reading the book Left to Tell by Immaculée Ilibagiza. I normally wouldn’t choose to read about the Rwandan Genocide during a season that elicits feelings of joy and merriment, but it was a book club selection that I’d postponed reading and it was soon due at the library. Surprisingly, reading the book did not end up making me feel depressed, but it made me reflect on my faith, blessings, and ability to be optimistic. Despite losing almost her entire family and being hunted by former friends and neighbors, Immaculée is a very positive and optimistic woman full of love and forgiveness – some of the strongest forces of good. I was struck by many of the things she said, but felt a need to record this quote in my journal, “God is the source of all positive energy, and prayer is the best way to tap into that power.”
I still worry about my kids, I am a mom after all. I worry that the world will rob them of their innocence and whether they will make good or bad choices as they grow older. Most of all, I worry that my parenting won’t be good enough. I try to quell those worries though and remind myself that good is a powerful force. A force that can overcome my inadequacies as a parent, a force that can help me or my kids survive tough times, and ultimately a force that comes from God.