We generally keep this blog light and about fairly non-important things since a) I’m not always good at being serious and b) I’m attempting to be witty, but I’ve had something on my mind for awhile.
I wasn’t one of those girls that wanted to get married and be a mom since the age of five. I wanted to be someone important. An astronaut, the first female president, a lawyer. I figured motherhood was for those that didn’t have real aspirations. While I still think it is important to have personal goals and work at our individual development, I’m starting to think maybe these girls realized something that I’m still learning.
My father once mentioned to me that the “those that are famous are rarely good and those that are good are rarely famous.” The idea stuck with me and I decided perhaps I didn’t want to be someone important, but wanted to do something important and aimed at becoming a teacher (or maybe I just wanted to be like my dad). I think the world of good teachers – it’s a lot of work that often gains little return, and will perhaps make an appearance in the profession later on, but I’m finding there’s somewhere else that I need to be right now.
I struggled with the idea of having kids. I felt like it would be such a waste of my schooling and carefully developed talents. I would be giving up so much for so little. Plus, it didn’t seem very glamorous. Even when I started to feel like maybe it would be fun to start a family (sometimes my cold heart could be melted by other people’s cute children) I would feel panicked and completely torn in two directions. How could I fit both my goals of accomplishing something and being a mom into my future?
As I wandered further into my schooling and eventually did my student teaching, it became more and more clear to me that while I could make an impact in my students’ lives, so much of their capabilities and goals were dependent on home situations that occurred before they ever set foot in my classroom. I began to understand that “the act of deserting home in order to shape society is like thoughtlessly removing crucial fingers from an imperiled dike in order to teach people to swim” (Neal A. Maxwell). Besides being more important on an eternal scale, my best bet of making any difference in the world was to bring good people into it.
I haven’t been at it very long, but I know it’s one of most important things I’ll ever do. Being a mom hasn’t stripped me of my goals or identity either (and I don’t plan on it doing so in the future). Sure I miss having people ask what I “do,” but in all honesty, Cooper’s smiles are much more rewarding than anything teenagers could say about my English lessons. It’s taken me awhile to get to this point, but I’m grateful that I’ve got Cooper in my life and wouldn’t trade the opportunity to stay home with him. I can’t think of a more valuable way to spend my time.
“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this.” – Neal A. Maxwell “The Women of God”
PS Sorry if this is becoming one of those mom blogs. We’ll try to return to our normal witticisms and maybe Noel will even find time to post.
4 thoughts on “Motherhood”
Thank you for so powerfully sharing a piece of your mind and the peace of your heart.
Thanks so much for sharing. I;m currently trying to get used to the idea of being a stay at home mom. Your thoughts really help me feel okay about my feelings. I know what you mean about people no longer asking what you do. People always ask me how I am doing with my twin pregnancy. Sometimes I feel like I;ve lost my identity. I;m getting used to the change. I;m glad to know that I;m not the only one.
Thanks for sharing. I’m not trying to belittle your post (I’m not sure what I’m saying either), but I started losing my ambition back in high school (while taking Calculus). That must have been the beginning of my road to motherhood (in that I found that there are more important and rewarding things than my “ambitions”). (I just needed another set of parentheses in this comment.) I don’t know if that makes sense… never mind.